He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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