marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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