If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize