her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
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I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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