she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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