just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize