white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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