she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
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We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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