u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
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I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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