there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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