Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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