Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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