Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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