Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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