What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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