Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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