sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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