i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize