Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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