I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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