The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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