I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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