so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize