peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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