i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize