I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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