So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize