I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize