So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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