when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize