If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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