She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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