i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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