My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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