im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize