Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
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He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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