found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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