We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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