ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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