He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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