he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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