A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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