Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize