I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
