I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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