I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I need water and some morals
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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