There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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