drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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