At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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