Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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