hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just forgot I was standing up.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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